Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Breaker 1...9 this is the Rubber Duck

Breaker 1...9...this is the Rubber Duck...
Tuesday 03-17-2009 8:33am ET
The 90’s rock band Jesus Jones poured their souls into radio speakers and MTV with the song Right Here Right Now… In the aftermath of its presentation, it amazes me how many different messages continue to be pulled from the title of a song that has nothing to do with television news broadcasts that have used it for a theme song, car dealerships that assumed they were blazing a new trail by reintroducing it as a catch phrase jingle all the way back to modern day parental figures regurgitating tones once shared with them during the growing up years that echoed, “I told you to do it! Right here! Right now!”

New on the list to jump on the Jesus Jones band wagon…major corporations fed up with employees who find tremendous energy in taking their IPods, cell phones, Blackberries and other electronic devices to full staff meetings. Don’t be shocked when bosses bravely express a new idea, “From this moment forward, I need you right here, right now.”

Author Andrea Kaye nailed it when exposing America’s addiction to technology. Like any other toy, when it starts affecting your chores, mom and dad are headed to your bedroom to seize control.

“You can’t just suddenly take away my phone,” Shouts the overworked sales rep demanding their right to be heard. “I can’t make you money if there’s a sudden disconnection!” Yet…whose face becomes twisted and frail one tenth of a second after the phone begins to sing? We’ve got to make up our minds! Do we want to be the go getter setting the pace for others to follow or the Hollywood act addicted to Radio Shack?

If your fingertips constantly itch and become calm the moment you touch your electronic vibration to the world…Houston we’ve got a possible leakage on this Apollo mission. Slowly breaking free into an open field of unforgettable sunsets on painted horizons is the assumable best choice…but how?

One hour at a time. Unless your job physically points its finger into your nose and demands you stay linked to what stinks…you still own the upper hand. But I don’t think you want it. I host several movie promotions a month, rule number one: turn off your phone or go home. The complaints and disgruntled ill thoughts that are shot at me weekly would make the perfect realty show on late night TV. I’ve heard every excuse, been through every situation and in the end, it wasn’t my arms that brought you into the theater with your electronic condition.

One hour at a time. Turn off the hot new phone tone; disconnect the vibrator and anything that resembles a text messaging device…people will record or print out their thoughts and words. Get back to them after you’ve reclaimed your once lost its all about me self time.

It’s a proven fact: Multi tasking is the number one cause of mistakes on the job and car accidents. You aren’t programmed to pull off several stunts at a time. It feels so good to think you can but in the end…who becomes the monster? Stress kills!

I’ve lost two close friends in their mid-40’s to heart attacks. Was it because of a personal need to drive their desires toward the hottest technology products? Two completely different people from opposite ends of the world and they did have one thing in common…a passion for those creations.

What if we took up Jesus Jones on their offer to be right here, right now? Religious, spiritual and motivational leaders print the message on the inside of our skulls everyday, “The only thing you have the power to change is the present.”

How can we gain access to the present if we’re locked up with an addiction the medical society is studying but won’t release their findings until 2012? President Obama refuses to give up his Blackberry…why should you? Dr. David Massey might have the answer, “It feels beyond incredible to fulfill our needs of being accepted.”

Holy cow…the radio disc jockey had to go there.

Once it locates wi-fi fhe Ipod Touch puts you anywhere in the world with anyone willing to share a conversation…no wonder we don’t fork out a hundred bucks a month on postage stamps anymore.

From My Space, to Face Book, Twitter and all other copycat time stealing connection munchers, the only hope we have is for an email to fall into your box so you can escape to read it or like Jesus Jones says, “We are right here right now,” by answering everything quicker than the speed of light and even in today’s circles that still not fast enough. But give Time Warner another six weeks…they’ll eventually get the hang of it.

Where are you right now? Are you right here? Are you right there? What if you’re currently searching for work and a possible headhunter validly asks, “Can you leave your electronic communication at home?” Could you live without it? What if your next job clearly states: NO IPODS, LAPTOPS, CELL PHONES OR BLACKBERRIES…do you take the job or leave the place believing the not so nice group of people just wasted a tremendous amount of your right here right now?

We are the luxury generation who’s about to kicked in the pants and sent to bed without dinner. Watch the world suddenly change when scientists gain access to the bottom line decision makers wanting to keep insurance rates down and it’s uncovered that the rise in flu, colds, cancer and tumors is caused by the invisible waves that carry our messages from phone to phone Blackberry to the next great invention.

Oh...in the time it took for you to read this, every phone company in America released their hot new summer collection with brighter ways to keep connected, not only will it cost you a couple hundred cha-chings to reach that place of glory but they'll toss in an extremely thin chunk of plastic to make your sytem unique. If you don't get it today, that's ok, it'll be $59.99 next week. Wait...this just in...Apple has just announced the future of business office success the new LMNOPQRST...you can now be stranded on an Island like Gilligan and have absolutely clear reception to place calls anywhere but the National Coast Guard.

Steal my art…

arroecollins@clearchannel.com

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