Yes sir. No Sir. How often have you shared the true vines of earned respect only to discover you’ve offended the person receiving the kind gesture? “My daddy is the sir, you can call me Jim, Tim, Freddy, Mike or Sue…but never again will I accept a sir from you.”
Somebody call Don King…it’s time to rumble.
Not wanting someone to address you respectfully is nonsense! To hear such reaction is nothing more than a white belt shoving his untrained foot into the core of determination. Six seconds inside a martial arts school, if you aren’t bowing to the senior belts sharing a firm crisp, “Yes sir and no sir,” you’re doing push up’s and sit up’s until the break of dawn.
From the United States Military, to religious places of study, sitting in the principal or bosses office to the kitchens of our nation’s top restaurants, “Yes Chef! No Chef!” shows employees and students that respect is what to expect.
Somebody please put Mr. King on hold! Maybe…I’m wrong.
Consulted was author Anne Marie Sabath whose new book One Minute Manners brings to the forefront the best way to meet and greet individuals at the workplace.
If the CEO suddenly appears for the first time six feet from your nearest touch, do all you can to keep control of any efforts that reach outside extremely conservative. “It’s nice to meet you Mr. Smith.” That’s it…no more…no less. Not even a, “Yes sir…no sir.”
If the CEO is someone you’ve met before, “Good morning…how are you?” Totally leaving out, “Mr. Smith.”
But what’s the best way to prevent your natural self from entering the wrong name during the handshake? Anne Marie believes it’s time to pull off a major league John Wayne moment and head it off at the pass by extending your open palm saying your name first, “Arroe Collins, it’s good to see you!”
She says it’s like killing two birds with one stone: You’re reciprocating the greeting while helping a CEO who visits eight hundred people a year remember your name. Using this method saves them from being embarrassed. It took Charlotte Mayor Pat McCrory four terms to realize my name isn’t Errol or Earl. The situation could’ve been easily avoided if I had entered my name first.
I’m still not convinced to erase, “Yes sir and no sir,” from the path. It’s time to call Sa bum nim, Master Todd Harris from Martial Arts University, “By saying yes sir and no sir showcases a gesture of respect and politeness. It isn’t meant to make a person feel old. This method of conversation is bred into him then transferred to his students because it’s what we’re supposed to do…”
Let’s turn the page, what if the person we’re greeting is two seats away from where we’re having lunch, watching a basketball game, movie or off Broadway production? The method used in communication is that introduced by Anne Marie, is it accepted behavior not to extend your hand offering instead a nod of the noggin?
Absolutely not!
When being introduced, stand up and reach behind the seat next to you to shake the new person’s hand. To reach in front of a person in the way of offering kindness to another shows disrespect. So please no high fiving in front of a date, wife or coworker…all movements should be made behind the body sitting next to you.
But what about hugging? The Bro-mance is very real, out is the boring handshake, it’s totally 1990’s. Greetings have evolved into the quick pull in, bump the shoulders, do the funky funk with your fingers which resembles more of fancy dance then a, “Yo Dude,” pat on the back.
No matter how cool it might look to outsiders…is it the move to make?
No!
If you’re like me, shy and not so publically friendly, take control of the greeting by doing nothing more than shaking hands. Extending your arm straight out creates distance between you and the newly introduced hugger. The infamous double clasp of the hands offers the right amount of warmth without looking like a fraternity or sorority.
Or…lets look at it through a martial artists eyes…The Bro-mance hug not only gives them your open hand which can be controlled with a tight squeeze, but what the heck, here’s my body too! Now the total stranger has gained access to just enough space to stick a gun in your stomach or a lay a knife on your side, “Take me to the nearest ATM…I’ll let you go once there.”
Moral of the story, when meeting agents from the IRS it’s best to greet them with a, “Yes sir, no sir,” but saying your name first with a, “How are you doing?” is a great start but if you need help don’t offend your family and friends by reaching across them, show respect and do business in places they know about without being included…and if a Bro-mance should occur during the tax season with the IRS, don’t pull them any closer than a straight arm keeping in mind they are the government and they want everything you have without ever paying it back.
Steal my art…
arroecollins@clearchannel.com
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