When the family tree shakes, rattles and rolls before cracking then crumbling to the cold earth below is there a path that explains who, what, why, when and where? Having just a "vague" idea has the power to set your life and style up for needless health problems.
I’m not one of the lucky ones, neither are the pair of sisters I recently discovered after a near forty year search—we’re both connected to a father and family who unexpectedly passed without the certificate calling it natural causes. A medical family tree to me is nothing more than a reason to grow ulcers in the pits of the tummy.
When medical officials sharply questioned the presentation of my most recent body break down the only answer given back was, “I don’t know.”
Jamie who lives half a nation away is no different—those educated in extremely expensive colleges can’t find a link to why her mind, body and soul are screaming MS and having no family tree available to compare notes with makes the journey horribly painful.
With me, there was an attack. We just don’t know why. With Jamie the attack is everyday, every second, every moment and it’s become an endless guessing game creating mountains of fear that are getting more difficult to climb.
We’re not alone—no day passes that families aren’t shattered, its members never seen again. The trails we make easily break leaving barely a whisper to grasp onto when something suddenly starts playing out of tune. With adoption at an all time high, books and records are tossed out to hide the paths of a past we’re no longer part of, the end result of something so beautiful is for some a life of mystery.
My sister in law Gerry is a product of true love but with both adopted parents gone, the presentation of middle aged life has evolved into chapters of horrific changes that no one expected unless there was a family tree. My stepfather Joe didn’t get my history when the name signed on the dotted line made him my father for keeps. He had no clue that my knees would wreak havoc on his bank account at sixteen and seventeen. His personal dreams were severed countless times because one of the five he adopted was constantly having unexpected situations.
All chronic diseases including asthma, arthritis, MS, heart disease and cancer are hereditary components. The only thing I can tell you about my Grandparents is two of the four lived an incredibly full life deep into their eighties and nineties. One the others suffered from Alzheimer’s which I had no clue at seventeen what it was and how it would affect true love. Yet, since those written pages I’ve prepared my entire life for the day when the memory tries to escape…this is why I write before the sun arrives so that one day I can hear the story of a crazy radio fool who thought he could play silly kids game with the idea of winning.
According to The Worlds Greatest Treasury of Health Secrets, the key to gaining invaluable knowledge is making a brief history of ailments that run in the biological family. It’s that single most important part of your life that comes with a seriously cool payoff.
Even if the pages you keep fall within the same magazine as those of us adopted into reality…it’s never too late to take a pen and write down the now visible dots so that people you may never meet have something to link it to in the future. Remember...the adoption was your life, in the future, the children of tomorrow have your current history. Don't hide your struggles from the colors of their unforgettable eyes.
If you’ve ever spent time generating the energy of a genetic family tree on the World Wide Web, don’t just discover your ancient family history who might have been a king in Scotland. Put more effort in the search and see why the members of your past passed.
If you can’t get relatives to talk on the phone, Facebook or e-mail, by God it’s time for a family reunion. A secret covert operation pulls out your playful side allowing there to be peace as the end of this pot of gold.
What about my sister in law who has no idea if her brother or Aunt is her next door neighbor—the existence of a family tree is null and void? It’s time to whip out the Batman gear and call the National Genealogical Society in Arlington, Virginia. www.ngsgenealogy.org
The reason why adopted children stop searching is fear of knowing.
My Grandpa Bakken suffered a fatal heart attack in 1969…Grandma always said it was because he was addicted to his job and didn’t know when to stop. Was that the truth or did he have heart disease and Grandma changed the story to keep life positive? If he had clogged arteries what caused it? Holy cow we’re from Montana, we eat like pigs out West or were his conditions challenged by something different by way of family?
Please don’t let the pieces of a shattered romance put curves in the lifeline firmly imprinted on the palm of your hand. Knowing is power. If not for you then for your children’s children—I’ve spent my entire life wondering why my brother was born mentally challenged…I have nothing on my birth fathers side available to share with me the history. Jamie the newly discovered sister has nothing in the way of explaining why she lives in constant pain with medical officials playing their constant guessing game. We have no tree.
Where along the lines of this football game called life were the genes planted? I don’t what to attack it; I only wish to better understand it…to better prepare for a world that could easily take a left turn at the tracks, go ten miles then suddenly stop.
Memories grow bigger, better and brighter when there's a family tree. Get control of your life and future and create it.
arroecollins@clearchannel.com
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