Friday, August 14, 2009

Word dumps are fun to jump around in...

Back to school, fall sports practice, jogging, pumping the weights, baby showers, weddings, family reunion, lunch with a coworker, sister or Mother in law…weekends aren’t about being bored. We are booked up like Rock Stars and bribe spouses, best friends and kids to keep the tour bus on track.



Reality isn’t always down with that. If you’re from California or been anywhere near it, the idea of being late is perfectly accepted—being from Montana, it was tough to look a cow in the eyes and explain to them at 5am why your decision to make them wait is far more important.



If you wanna dance with American Culture you gotta challenge the big and little hands on the clock. In my book 3pm means 2:01. I blame the boogie on radio station program directors that demanded your creative ways to be in the studio breathing the air one hour before the performance.



Before computers, show prep included setting up the stage—if you weren’t spinning 45’s and albums the tunes were on 8-track like pieces of plastic called carts. It was part of the job to pull everything out and lay it in a way where it was extremely easy to play. Life without the World Wide Web meant reading magazines and newspapers. Trying to fit into a listener’s life and style was far from being connected to Google or Bing.



Outside the four walls of creative flow sits a brand new weekend…our days become one in the same…it’s like watching an up and coming symphony—the right hand plays the part of the woodwind instruments while your left dabbles with the violins and cellos, one foot is giant kettle drums and the other is the single bass guitarist who couldn’t land a spot in a local rock band playing at the pub tonight.



So what happens when you start seeing double?



You’re booked to be in two different places at the same time…what is the proper way to play, plan and dive out of a bad situation? Is it legal to go faceless and send a brave e-mail? Totally acceptable according to Anne Marie Sabath the ethics expert—cell phone calls are better accepted because you know the message went through but e-mails help keep the door open. Just don’t leave anyone hanging.



I personally have a problem with time—that sickness was beautifully showcased at the doctor recently when my 9am appointment suddenly became 9:50. Whether you’re hosting a party, meeting a friend or dining at a doctor’s office how long are we truly expected to wait before sounding off a peep?



I was 100% wrong to make mention of my appointment being 50 minutes beyond the well documented original idea. Anne Marie says 15 minutes is when it’s ok to start getting a little squeaky. In my situation the doctor wasn’t late, they elected to change why they were seeing me and somewhere within their winding halls someone forgot to pass the word to my antsy pet peeve ways of living.



The most important part of your expression toward people being late is to guarantee your personal travels are given plenty of time from that day forward so you aren’t the person people are waiting for.



It’s kind of like spell check on a computer—if it drives you insane to constantly read other peoples bad spelling make sure your electronic connections don’t fall into the very trap that drives you nuts. There’s no need to vocally exchange a disgruntled behavior, feel your way through it by softly letting the person you’re conversing with know of their word presentation. Ask things like, “Did you mean to say?” Or jokingly on your computer make a mistake and while they’re watching hit spell check. Not everybody is computer savvy and being on this thing has made the majority of us horrible spellers when holding a pen or pencil.



I personally prefer to read computer print font size 18 because the way we print is nothing more than a cloned doctor. Is that an “a” or a “u” wow…you meant to make it an “o” no and “e” sometimes “y”



If you saw my signature you’d instantly see why friends call me Butt-row. It’s a large “A” with a scribble blah blah blah. The “A” looks like the south end of a donkey headed north followed by R.R.O.E. Hey look! Butt-row has been here!



The reason why our handwriting has gotten worse is because we aren’t expected to use it unless filling out doctor and dentist nosier than nosey reports for their files. When was the last time you sent your mother a handwritten letter? With on-line banking prepackaged envelopes are not only a waste of a great tree but there’s no need to kill time filling in your address in the upper left hand corner.



Soon to be gone are the avenues to which we properly type. How many semesters are we away from high schools teaching texting? The right thumb is used to reach this letter, than that one…if you can text 80 words perfectly per minute you get the job. By the year 2525 we’ll no longer have fingers…it’ll be fifteen pound thumbs.



See what happens when the doctors office is fifty minutes late…this vivid imagination is given permission to look at everything that moves while putting great study in reasons why some choose to sit still. The key signal sent when typing, texting or writing the word “life “is what’s found in the middle…..if. That guarantees you a choice.



If _________ write it out ten times and put your vision inside the space presented.



Steal my art…



arroecollins@clearchannel.com

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