In this day, one affected and infected by the internet, all that is, might not be and if it really was, self diagnosis reins during every storm brought on by change. Problem is, I’ve always been this way and learning how to deal with the unexplained complicates the paintings put on display.
Agoraphobia…the fear of leaving home—which can be taken two different ways, the fear of leaving your parents home…which didn’t exist in the chapters I’ve written, I counted down the hours, minutes and seconds to haul tail! Not because of evil ways and means but bigger things—in 1981 it was feasibly impossible to play major market radio in Billings, Montana.
Agoraphobia featured no face half way through the decade or getting to the Carolina’s would’ve been nothing but disc jockey talk—the stuff announcers spout back and forth by way of one upping their talking buddies, “Oh yeah! Well I got an offer from Hangover, Mississippi…whoa…”
The fear of leaving home latched onto the nap of my neck in the short days that followed the loss of my Alaskan Malamute Lobo—it’s perfectly human to accuse yourself of not doing enough when it comes to saving a loved one from pain and suffering and I was convinced that if I had been home, the fluffy clump of cuddly hair wouldn't have lapped up the antifreeze the neighbor poured into his backyard.
200,000 people a day discover their path has become clouded by Agoraphobia—so what gives? When does it stop? How does it begin? Agoraphobia often accompanies another anxiety disorder, such as panic disorders or a specific phobia. If it occurs with panic disorder, it usually starts in a person's 20s, and women are affected more often than men.
Agoraphobia is like a chameleon…its colors change quicker than the weather. It’s also the fear of being in places where help might not be available.
Anxiety or panic attack (acute severe anxiety)
Becoming housebound for prolonged periods of time
Dependence on others
Fear of being alone
Fear of being in places where escape might be difficult
Fear of losing control in a public place
Feelings of detachment or estrangement from others
Feelings of helplessness
Feeling that the body is unreal
Feeling that the environment is unreal
Unusual temper or agitation with trembling or twitching
Additional symptoms that may occur:
Abdominal distress that occurs when upset
Breathing difficulty
Chest pain
Confused or disordered thoughts
Intense fear of dying
Intense fear of going crazy
Dizziness
Excessive sweating
Heartbeat sensations
Lightheadedness, near fainting
Nausea and vomiting
Numbness and tingling
Skin flushing
Signs you may be affected include
High blood pressure
Rapid pulse (heart rate)
Sweating
There’s nothing worse than someone telling you, “Yo Dude, you need to take a vacation!” Chronic sufferers of Agoraphobia pull down every window shade, lock every door and pull toward them anything that symbolizes what I call the ingredients that make up your self created circle. And now you know the rest of my true story—this is how I spent my late summer vacation, wrapped up in a world reading daily writings from 1994, listening to music written ten years before while horribly fearing the idea that my daughter’s children were excited by visiting the beautiful mountains changing colors by weeks end. I was a total wreck.
Agoraphobian’s turn into negotiators, “I agree to go while promising to pretend to have an incredibly cool time if we can take all four of dogs.”
And that’s exactly what I did in the mountains—while Carlos and Mia played in the orange and yellow leaves floating to the shores of a mountains softest kiss, I sat alone in an extremely tiny wood cabin sketching, writing and hugging the four legged unconditional lovers of the human spirit.
Wait! Wait! How does being an admitted work-a-holic play out in this? Being constantly creative puts me in a place of total warmth—if asked to step away in the name of resting the mind, body and soul, like an addict searching for his or her next hit…you nibble on each fingertip attempting to plan out the makings of a peaceful trip. Creativity to me last week was totally ripping my house apart with extreme high hopes of dumping 30 years of radio and art in the trash can—Ha!
My master in Tae Kwon Do asked if I’d have lunch with him…no way man…I’m shifting my Native American spiritual tools around and it requires my entire all. I’m such a freak! To the point of believing the leaves and branches that fall during the summer months in the forest that surrounds my house don’t truly want to leave their home, so I’ve declared myself a forest farmer and spent hours at the wood chipper being green by way of creating mulch for roses and other living things.
According to the world of medicine the most difficult part about suffering from Agoraphobia has nothing to do with what condition my condition is in but out of all the people in the world—I’m the only one who suffers daily, hourly and second by second from it.
Wrong! Agoraphobia terrorizes millions, hypnosis and some medication are the music maker or release. Find out more at Mayoclinic.com
Agoraphobia is very real. Ask my four dogs, they’re at home today thinking, “Thank God the human is out of here! I can finally get some sleep! The only reason why we keep him around is for the free puppy treats…”
Getting back to living…steal my art…
arroecollins@clearchannel.com
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