Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Merry watch your P's and Q's Christmas!

Being at work is no different than growing up in a household of ten to twenty five—normally in both situation two are usually in control, it’s always a great day if brothers and sisters don’t squabble just as much as a business manager begins his or her journey with a silent prayer, “Please let there be peace in the hallway.”



I once asked a department head about his governing position, to which area of the biz does he spend too much of his energy walking over and over the same path?



“The social areas where an employee and friend can’t decide which person they want to be.”



Business relationships are shoved into daily corners due to an excessive need to trust, live right and be accepted—only to face the on going consequences of melting church and state into one kettle of tea.



A good example is the money borrowing game—the office is celebrating the arrival of an employee’s child, dollars are collected but not common sense.

There’s one or two in every crowd that wants to be spotted the paper, “I promise to pay you back.”

One day turns into a week, into a month, then two years and during that process an empty shell of trust is filled with disgust waiting to boil over during times of challenge that have nothing to do with the original sore spot.



I get it! During this day of ATM cards and robbery on every street corner, who carries loose change? Tossing in a couple of cha chings for a buddy is cool but what happens when the ding a ling forgets to replace it? I had to go to morally correct Anne Marie Sabath whose manners at work help reshape horrible bent out of place egos.



“There are two things you can do about getting back the borrowed money or other business tools from a coworker—send a gentle reminder via email or consider the loan a charitable donation. Anytime you lend money the golden rule is to never expect it to be repaid.”



Ouch!



Ok, being that it’s November and the holidays are biting our bums—it’s only natural to treat your coworkers out to a little cheer. Is there a signal you can send the server that boldly states, “This one’s on me,” without having to steal the surprise out of simple gift giving?



The problem with today’s modern way of munching in groups is a lack of respect for the purchaser—if word gets out Johnny is footing the tab, drinks, appetizers and a few extra friends are brought along because Willie the Weasel knows it’s not coming out of his pocket. There’s no better way to get back at someone than forcing them to beg for a Blackberry to score a loan from the far away bank who doesn't check credit scores.



“Take control!” shouts Anne Marie. “Say nothing about lunch being on you. Then, right before any order is taken, calmly say my guests are ready to begin.”



By identifying coworkers as your guests it sends three separate signals: You are taking care of the bill. It confirms the lunch or dinner is your treat and it lets the server know that your order should be taken last.



If you aint being called the guest…you know the rest.



So, what are we supposed to do if prayer is part of the everyday ritual? Not everyone at work thanks the big guy, so as a guest or the one sharing the gift, would it be totally wrong to reach out, grab a hand and thank the keeper of all creations?



Yep! Bad move according to Anne Marie, “Religion, sex and politics are places to never travel as a group trying to unite. Blessing your food falls completely into the religious world and should be kept within the walls of personal preferences. It’s perfectly fine to close your eyes and say a prayer to yourself…most people respect your beliefs. Once you heave ho the entire crew over the religious fence…oh oh, there could be trouble.”



Whether its borrowing money, treating your coworkers to a holiday lunch or dinner or opening the skies for the Almighty to watch you like a Dallas Cowboy’s football game—it’s little things like this that tend to crack the workday concrete. Like any family, the rules constantly change without anyone announcing the arrival of recently attained veto from the higher ups. The slightest thin hair of indifference has the ability to poison an entire office of gray cubicles.



Blood is thicker than water until you’re physically viewed on how well you handle or misrepresent your actions, reactions then reactions to the action. I’ve lived by one golden rule: anything I do at home is a weapon of choice for a passerby. That’s not a healthy way to live life while attempting to be a strong team player—so it's become a personal challenge during this second chance in life to be more open to who I really am and not just a plastic smile connected to the power of positive thinking.

The difference between family and coworkers is a simple decision…you made the choice as to whom you called friend. It’s up to you to decide if they’ve earned the right being looked upon as being the brother or sister you never had. Until then, Oprah will always have a future in television because sibling rivalry’s rock and no matter how hard you try, your brother or sister can never be fired! I couldn't convince my mom to bounce my sister out for anything. I even promised to write poetry and pick wild flowers everyday, take out the trash, feed the dogs and make the bathroom spotless. She's still there! So should your coworkers, even if it means being on a different playing field.



Be careful this holiday season. The separation between church and state isn’t just a government thing. Your career success depends on it.



arroecollins@clearchannel.com

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