What the heck is going on here? It’s another weekend already! How is this possible? Did I eat too much turkey and all those secret sleepy ingredients inside knock me out for days?
Dear Santa,
Please give me a wind up clock with a giant oval face that doesn’t make time race.
Signed…
Billy the silly time keeper with nothing better to do than sit and stew.
We’ve all been through this! Our first official date with bad timing was fighting like a wild dog to get through elementary, middle and high school…it was a chore! Just 8 more years, three months, six days, three hours and twenty two seconds. The only thing that sped it up was a great teacher you loved so much you officially dubbed them a member of your secret invisible family.
Maybe that’s what we need to do in 2010? Is it time to set up some time? A good example…I can’t wait to finally reach July 22nd! That’s when the medically trained professionals have me slated to stop taking these drugs. Not only am I being forced to remember to take them but once these horse pills are outta these handwritten chapters…there are a few Tae Kwon Do names that need to be taken care of on Martial Arts Santa’s naughty list.
I’ve never been a fan of time. It is my pet peeve. There are no eyes to look into or arms to pull back when life feels like Black Friday at an overcrowded mall. Nope…time just ticks away. It doesn’t have an ounce of care for humans or their pets. It’s the world’s greatest employee, constantly staying focused and never taking days off to be with the kids.
Time is the greatest piece of marketing created…hired are messengers called clocks, they’re everywhere! Big clocks, tiny computer clocks, watches that buzz, grandfather clocks that bong… I’d love to meet the man or woman who inked the deal with time to be in so many places without paying a single cent for rent.
I hate time! It hates me! Songs can be too long and we hit fast forward or rewind. But not with time…we’re the snotty nosed brats in the back along for the ride. Time is so powerful it has Presidents convinced that something needs to be done but you only have this much time. When you run out, we wave goodbye and set up vacations around their libraries to revisit what they did with their time.
Time’s biggest weakness is how it can be measured. While the group Styx belted out Too Much Time on Your Hands, NASA scientists would like to nab some of that something, something to score a light year from the heavens while living to tell about it. A sonic boom is an act connected to breaking the sound barrier…the time it takes to reach point A and B equals BOOOM!
Time can’t be confused with times. Parents who stare down the young folk with bursting conversations like, “How many times have I told you not to do that? I’m going to take your punishment and times it by ten.” Multiple times I’d begin to laugh because I was more powerful than Spiderman, fully capable of turning off the lights with my eyes and that for a brief moment in time would purchase me enough time to send their thinking methods into, “What the?”
Time times time equals? How many gray hairs does it take to finally reach the core of your true purpose? My Uncle Willie once took thoughts like this and pondered them. Basically meaning, he’d latch his Wyoming farming hands around a single break in the day to create a brake on times path.
A new weekend is already here. I feel as if I should be upset. How can I get my work done at work if we keep running out of time? In the words of the great Steve Miller, “Time keeps ticking, ticking…into the future.”
arroecollins@clearchannel.com
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