Another weekend already! How are we getting here so quickly? Is Steven King or James Cameron part of this? It’s not fair! It takes a lifetime to pay off the credit card that financed last weekend and now we’re back to steal more from Peter to pay Paul.
Maybe we really aren’t leaving the weekend…a time machine of sorts. That would explain why it feels like its always snowing. It’s still March 23, 1972. Seriously! We’ve become completely addicted to constantly moving forward that our minds have melted into tiny chips that create days, months and years faster than the speed of sound.
Everybody you see, feel, smell and would like to get to know is nothing more than an illusion. Simon Cowell isn’t leaving American Idol and Ryan Seacrest hasn’t been born yet. Quick! Introduce me to the radio station Program Director who first hired Ryan…we’ll boot him out now…when 2001 roles around again the entertainment business won’t be a Ryan Seacrest monopoly.
I’m joking! I love Ryan! He’s the only person I know that can turn a classic show like American Top 40 into a better product than Casey’s original idea.
Wait a second! Forget Spielberg and Han Solo! We’re the particles and backdrops that make up Ryan Seacrest’s Twilight Zone Nightmare. He’s locked in a horrendous radio dream where everybody knows his name and when he wakes up he’ll still be in Atlanta taking out the trash and everything else required to get an hour of broadcasting time.
It has to be Ryan’s world! American Idol was on three times this past week. My DVR erased shows I wanted to see and replaced it with the worst year of raw performances…which tells me Ryan is about to wake up.
Where will you truly be when Ryan's eyes open?
No! What if I’m still busing tables at The Muzzle Loader Café in Billings, Montana? Hey…I’ll get to take walks with my first love in life Lobo the Alaskan Malamute. Nice! Wake up Ryan! Now!
No! What if we have to relive the banking industries lack of care for the American people and are shoved deeper into a recession and crash worse than Rome? Will Ryan Seacrest be our Caesar? The American Idol stage is the most famous coliseum on earth! Not even the Enquirer Magazine could’ve predicted this!
Enough about Ryan Seacrest! It’s another weekend and it’s his fault they’re happening too fast. He’s like the brother you can’t get away from. It doesn’t matter which room you run away too he’s following you—either on the E Entertainment Network, movies or counting down the 40 biggest hits on American Top 40.
I have but only one question…when will he announce he’s running for President in 2012? Will Paula Abdul be on the ticket with him? Simon Cowell is another Dick Chaney…we deserve to have a fun, up beat VP like George Lopez or…don’t make me say it….Ellen!
See! Now we know why she’s on the show! It’s Hollywood’s way of subliminally telling this nation how to vote! Oh boy…now I’m talking too over my own head and openly I admit I’m more lost than you. I’d ask for a GPS device but it’s probably been designed by Ryan Seacrest’s production company.
It’s another weekend! The East Coast is getting pounded by snow again and again and again. I can’t blame this on Ryan Seacrest. He’s filled with too much hot air. Ouch!
This is one video that didn’t kill the radio star.
History does repeat itself…this is what it felt like when Dick Clark took over America in the 1950’s, 60, 70’s 80’s 90’s and today. Now I sound like a radio station. Guess I should follow station formatics and get back to another four in a row without talk.
Happy weekend and God Bless Ryan Seacrest! I think Ryan just joined you in vomiting.
Arroecollins@clearchannel.com
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