Friday, March 5, 2010

Worse than Tax Day!

Warning: Next Sunday you’re going to be cranky and not in the mood for people. It’s time to spring forward…which means the body is losing an hour of sleep.



No! We can barely get the malls and hardware stores to open at ten. McDonald’s doesn’t serve lunch until 10:30…steal an hour from the king of Mac Attacks and you might get a Whopper.



You’d think we’d be used to this…it happens every second Sunday during the month of March. Always the week after the Oscars…can you imagine how the stars would look and react if they lost an hour of sleep? The Avatar’s would look like Smurfs. There’s not enough Red Bull or Starbucks in the world to wake up Quentin Tarantino. Our luck Britney Spears would show up and accept the Best Actress Award for Sandra Bullock.



It’s all coming down next Sunday!



I knew we should’ve been stockpiling on the winks. Instead of lazily watching the Super Bowl and complaining about four rounds of snowflakes…every Honey Due list should’ve been replaced with sofa time…time to sleep, catnap and rob from the chilly air a two second dream.
Good sleep is priceless.



How do NBA stars like Kobe Bryant make the big switch? Maybe it’s not really him. Like the movie Moon…they’ve cloned the basketball great. You know Jimmie Johnson will probably win in NASCAR. The Dude’s always racing to get somewhere quickly…he’s been to the future and gotten used to losing an hour of sleep.



While NBC, CBS and ABC report on the affects of a slagging economy…Blackberries, Twitter and Face Book will carry the true untold story: I'm tired! I’m without energy! I’m a nothing in a world that wants everything. Something tells me Starbuck’s employees are running around their tiny coffee maker cubicles singing, “It’s Christmas time in the village!”



One week to get ready! 7 days to convince the mind to rest now or pay later! 168 hours until satellite clocks attached to walls that won’t bend move their big and little hands to places that are going to rock your world. What are you going to do?



The dogs will be happy…they get fed an hour earlier. Your boss will notice a spike in sales because compared to this week, you’re up and at it an hour quicker. And yet, the Southern accent remains the same…totally unchanged. Wow…that’s some powerful way to communicate.



How many more days until Fall? Can we please get an extra pillow to put over our heads to punch, kick and pull when the rest of our body is saying, “Nope…not gonna do it…give me another five, ten or twenty minutes.”



One week away from losing an hour of sleep…we are so busted because none of us saved enough rest for a rainy day.



arroecollins@clearchannel.com

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