Monday, June 21, 2010

A Southern tradition...

Mother’s and Father’s day isn’t what it used to be. An always on the move America has painted the portrait of a life and style that’s become a left turn at the tracks. Parents are receiving paperless gifts like a full day of fun and comfort “without” the little people. It’s a living breathing Get Out of Jail Free Card.



Time out or time away for a half or full day…



Colorful ties, lawn equipment and fancy watches are so 1955. Backyard lunches and brunches are a cool event but look at who ends up doing all the work? I’ve been taking some notes…couldn’t help but notice the enormous amount of Moms and Dad’s doing something on their own…alone on that special day.



That “wasn’t” just Phil Mickelson playing golf yesterday—a month earlier malls, spas and movie houses were flooded with Moms enjoying a day out. An hour, two or maybe six with friends or pulling off a solo tour has quickly gained respect in the chapters titled, “I just need a break!”



Helping to push the temporary paradise into play are Grandparents who think of it as another great way to give their offspring more than what they had during the growing up phases of everyday, “Do what you want…rest, relax, tear up the streets! We’ll take the little boogers, fill em with sugar then give em back!”



Then around 4:30…everyone meets at a restaurant for the big trade.



Maybe it’s just me but here in the South families tend to mend each others fences more. Basically meaning, taking care of the kids is more of a group effort than placed upon the shoulders of two. I’m actually jealous of today’s young ones because they’re spending more time with their elders or to put it in kid terms, those less likely to tan their rear end just because someone swiped veggies from Old Lady Hilda’s garden.



Been in the south for 25 years, instantly I grew accustom to the incredibly close nit quarters of family living. In Montana, we couldn’t wait to turn eighteen then haul tail from the four walls of rules and regulations. I remember landing my first fulltime performance in radio in Lewistown right smack dab in the center of the last great recession…the only thing that kept me pushing forward and never stopping was the thought of having to move back home.



Life in the south doesn’t seem to push that button as often as one would assume. It’s only human to want to fly from the nest but what makes living in the south warm and fuzzy are the neighborhoods constructed by single family living. Five houses, one family member featured in each…and there’s rarely a time of the week where something family isn’t taking place. Sometimes it makes a few headlines in the local newspaper but all in all…things look peachy.



Which is why I love the idea that Mother’s and Father’s Days seem to be reverting back to the spirit of entire families and not just a band. In the often heard and very rarely written down chapters of Native American history…a band was created when a woman would leave her family. Her band of the blank, blank nation would move to the creek side creating a world of their own with separate rules to live by. They would become the north creek band of that particular nation. Although different bands would spend time together, the feeling of there being a deeper driven relationship wasn’t always felt. It’s not that they didn’t love each other…it was no different than me leaving my mother in 1981 to create my own family and as much as I love my mother, I’ve never returned to live by her side.



Grandparents giving their hours away to their adult children so they can endure a place of peace is a beautiful move in the southern direction of reconstructing the basics of what a true family is. We’ve made it too easy to run away from each other until someone suddenly passes then we’re stuck sitting in a room wondering, “What did they leave me?”



I recently sat down with an aging man who felt strong in his plans of leaving nothing behind except his open willingness to always be there for his kids. He said to me, “The moment my eldest son gets his hands on my tool box the other two will bicker til one begins to fight. I won’t be there to knock em upside the head and tell em to straighten up or I’ll give it all away to charity. So I’m selling the stuff on Ebay and taking short and long vacations to places I can take the Grand kids.”



I always wanted my stepfather Joe to be my Grandfather.



The man had done so much and been to almost every corner of Montana and I never had the courage to say, “Teach me.” Grandparents tend to look at the approaching horizon and just give the stuff away.



Making things a little sweeter is music…there aren’t any borderlines that shout, “This is mine and that’s yours!” Baby Boomers love Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber and come across looking as hot as asphalt on a 200 degree day when they sing right along with the music makers they’ve swiped from their constantly busy children.



I’ll never forget Dr. Ronald Mack from Wake Forest University explaining to me how important Harry Potter is to American families, “It’s the first time ever that everyone including Aunt Helga can read the same book and spend hours talking about it.”



Harry Potter is ageless. The Beatles are ageless. Miley Cyrus is getting older but damn if the Grand folks aren’t singing, “Party in the USA and Boom Boom Pow with the Black Eyed Peas!”



Happy Everyday Day! It’s time to break out Karen and Richard Carpenter singing White Christmas. Stop making holiday’s the only time you elect to eliminate the lines that separate your band from their band…as a people…we are one nation and that’s reason to celebrate.



arroecollins@clearchannel.com

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