Thursday, February 17, 2011

Having a bad day? Let's play a game!

Growing up in a rickety old weather torn shack on a gravel road blessed with eight kids coming from three different families; the Brady Bunch was a group of armatures compared to the roots of my family tree.

In those days a swift kick in the butt from the stepfather’s well trained aim was recognized as discipline. As much as I felt a need to challenge a leather strap across the rump protected only by a pair of thin Kmart purchased pajamas; the investigative reports conducted while interviewing Grandparents and neighbors usually ended up being unrehearsed quotes, “If you were my kid, you’d get worse.”

Then it occurred to me; the best way to win is to play the ever popular never duplicated finger pointing blame game. Like Chutes and Ladders, being the middle child made everything perfectly brilliantly funky fun because the accusations tossed at me by four older brothers was instantly shot to those beneath my age.

Being a true Cancer though, compassion and understanding was silenced by guilt. My gut felt worse than the one week grounding or suspension from the phone they’d receive.

You know as well as I do; the blame game isn’t just a kid thing.

The great pyramid project of the Corporate American structure is flawlessly designed to force the decision makers to turn this nations worker bees into mere itty bitty powerless do nothing wimps and or pawns in a Chess Game. Example: When expectations aren’t met who gets the boot? When doubt takes over like crazed Justin Bieber fans who’s on the receiving end of the witches knotted index finger?

Lets take it further; in an age when bank accounts are nothing more than a fat ceramic pig with no plug in the bottom to stop coins from falling out…99.9% of the time the blame is placed on whom, what or where?

Dr. Richard Carson believes the blame game is deeply trenched into American culture making it too easy for those responsible to have just enough power to remove themselves from the actions and problems. Socially it’s led to lawsuits and ridiculous excuses that get criminals off the hook.

The blame game is a habit and like all habits the end result is destruction.

Blaming someone may take the pressure off you but on the opposite end of spectrum the receiver is often times angered, depressed, frustrated and extremely unhappy. But here’s the strange twist in life’s everyday highway; according to the Doctor nobody can be at peace while placing blame on others.

My third grade teacher Mrs. Stephenson was the first to vibrantly express that there’s a 75% chance the true culprit was the Dude with three fingers pointing back.

Test time! The Doctor challenges you to unlock your need to fall back on blame. For one day don’t send out a “you did it” wave.

Wait! Stop! Let’s make one thing clear; holding someone accountable for their wrong doing isn’t part of the blame game. Laziness at the workplace is a different day.

When the house is a mess don’t blame…pick up one thing. When your finances are trashed don’t point! Locate a place where you personally can cut back. Most importantly if something has made you incredibly angry or filled with depression ultimately it’s only you that can turn it off. Winning is a choice. So is being in a great mood.

Dr. Richard isn’t shy to open his notebook and share a valuable lesson; playing the blame game requires an enormous amount of mental energy that drags you down, which is nothing more than a shovel digging a hole thats filled up with amazingly high amounts of stress that lead to disease.

Blaming others ultimately makes you powerless over your own life because happiness is contingent on the actions and behaviors of others. How many people do you know that throw Hail Mary’s into a pool of coworkers destroying every inch of their dedication and loyalty only to find themselves walking away like Superman? That my friend is acting. On the inside they're a walking talking Godzilla marching toward an even bigger monster.

Be a choice maker…stop playing the blame game. Imagine what it’ll do to your past.

David and Gavin aren’t the reason why I stopped instructing in Martial Arts. I’ve never been a fan of the business; it turns great people into starving hogs. I see Tae Kwon Do as being a church rather than a money maker. My way out of instructing was to put blame on two out of control kickers and punchers. Once free I didn’t have to deal with mindless numbers, fake smiles or the constant demand of having to walk up to strangers to preach how beautiful the martial art is.

Now it’s your turn.

Remember…to be in peace doesn’t require protest. The right foot is placed in front of the left and you teach yourself to walk slowly. Peace grows where it’s allowed to blossom. Allow the sun to sink between your toes.

I’ll always believe in you first…

arroecollins@clearchannel.com

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