Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Bosses are the start but you finish it...

Are we a controlling society or have we evolved into a nation of followers because it’s safer to point fingers at the foolish inexperienced leader of the pack?

Controlling!

From neighborhood watchdog groups to volunteering at middle and high schools, eight hours at work, long lines of rush hour traffic and unexpected grocery store lines to keeping the kids in minds eye view…control is what we crave.

Control is killing us.

Dr. Richard Carlson believes there are two types of control freaks; behavioral and highly stressful. Both of which require an incredible amount of energy to maintain.

Behavioral is the person that demands straight lines and no talking, your production orders in by 2pm, socks picked up and underwear folded then placed in the proper drawer.

Stressful controllers create stress which weakens the rest giving them power over everything involved. Bosses with demands even they couldn’t fulfill, creating constant reasons why you should be fired, teachers that give students homework without having study time to openly discuss what’s expected, credit card collectors that stress out those they call to pull from the turnip a single drop of blood.

If the pressure is on you then who is the receiver of your controlling way? Being controlled isn’t the disease it’s the original receiver who then takes it to an innocent bystander coworker, child at home or a neighbor that enjoys the occasional beer with a friend until every word spoken is nothing more than a demand.

Dr. Carlson very clearly states, “If you are controlling then you carry tremendous amounts of stress.”

Frustration begins when your team no longer sees eye to eye with your endeavors but because you front a department that demands constant success; results can’t occur if the process of obtaining a conclusion is based on throwing people under the bus.

The worst possible place to find controlling gone wild is workplace meetings where being in control guarantees you an audience. There’s no need to sell your self, everyone present already knows the plan. Making matters worse are large signs outside conference rooms ordering no employee to bring cell phones or texting devices.

Personally, I love these moments. I find great pleasure in watching control freaks waste a ton of energy proving they’re in control. Laced up on power drinks and six cups of coffee the vein in the center of their forehead is large enough for people to write their name and for me to step in and do some classic Arroe art.

The wisdom of the wise leader shouldn’t overpower his followers but should be used to encourage his team to formulate a method of discovery. By accepting the role of being less of a controller and more of a leader he or she under the influence of I am the boss and you are not will locate places to breathe which means stress will be near to nothing.

Controlling people think they know best. There can’t be change until the out of control situation discovers the advantages of letting go of the control. Demanding respect at work is no different than a bad comedian trying to get laughs at a club.

Yes it’s a tough world overtaken by people that spend less time listening and more time making horrid mistakes. The weight of the world is on your shoulders and no the people above you won’t hire someone fully capable of helping you; those days are over.

Invest in relationship not bullying and the end result will be effort well spent.

Dr. Carlson believes the more you let go…the more people will help you. As much as I’d love to argue that fact the more I realize the final destination of such a debate echoes someone wanting control.

I spend more time teaching people what I do so that one day one of them will be strong enough to get the world off my back. Until then it’s about building bridges and I can’t do it by myself.

arroecollins@clearchannel.com

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