Today is Wednesday the most boring day of the week!
As a writer, author and as Julia Cameron would call it: a painter of the room…I shall describe this ripened moment as being the perfect recipe for an optimistic pessimist’s balmy ocean front property; the week is half finished with a long drawn out entirely different other half to go.
To make it fun I’ve shattered the code of silence that protects travelers of time and entered the realm of the 16th century to do nothing more than steal from the village the powers of the King and Queen at the Carolina Renaissance Festival by officially declaring this day: Blog something stupidly weird day!
Glasses! Not what you wear to read fine print and not necessarily the type you drink from during moments when the body just…can’t go on…until you pour something of liquid value from a bottle of choice. Not from Belk! Not even from Wal-Mart, a pesky flea market or early bird Saturday morning garage sale!
I’m talking about those tall, colorful when they get cold, purty printed kitchen cupboard space takers that robbed you blind while on vacation. It’s a mile marker keep sake that says, “I was here and I have the glass to prove it! Wanna fight about it?”
Late summer 1999; after a blinding whiteout high atop Mount Rainier boldly planted in the core of the soul of Washington State…I stood in the center of self serving ego maniac hell trying to decide how getting kicked off that skyscraping snowcapped
Mother nature created pimple before reaching the summit could be turned into a positive.
“Alcohol!”
Wait! Not a bottle, cup, jigger or something as tiny as a water source…I was in a mood and this drinking moment had to be 1,000 times better than the food. I wanted an instant release from reality and it had to come in that extremely expensive very tall collector’s edition cylinder that featured more ice than buzz maker.
“But sir…the drink you’re asking for doesn’t come in that glass…”
“It does tonight!”
I didn’t want just one! I had to have four! To complete the set while proving to my neighbors, friends and people forced to become my coworkers back home in the Carolina’s could see that I nearly, almost, kind of made it to the top of Mount Rainier!
I had never forked out so much money for something so stupid and yet after twelve grueling years that most would choose to forget but because I write every morning at sunrise I’m reminded of the rooms I paint every damn second of every single twenty four hour period I held in my hand this morning one of the four very tall glasses from the great state of Washington filled not with alcohol but an energy powder called N-sane.
While slurping down that green apple flavor like the true mountaineer I used to be it occurred to me, “My God Dude! This glass is the Twinkie of vacation purchased junk! You hold in your hand the cockroach that nuclear war can’t step on! 12 years of dishwashing, 144 months of me tipping dropping it on the deck, patio and during unheard amounts of fun New Years Eve celebrations! It still has the amazing power to scream, “You didn’t reach the summit because of an unexpected whiteout!”
Did I toss it? Did I break it into a billion snowflake pieces? Would I sell it to help pay for the dollar menu at McDonalds? Never!
It’s evolved into a new challenge; can I outlast the very tall glass?
If I pass before a single crack is created then it shall be willed out to my Mother in Montana to place in a safe box in her bone chilling cellar where corn, potatoes and jelly are stored; and with it a tiny note that which I scribbled on a boring Wednesday where half the week is over but the long drawn out other half remains: To whom it may concern—this isn’t just the glass that kicked my a**…let it serve as a purpose why you should never say no to your kids and spouse. The importance of purchasing vacation trinkets and dream catchers seems materialistic until you realize memories will forever be marked in the books of history as being priceless and it’s always more fun to share when you can prove you were there.
arroecollins@clearchannel.com
No comments:
Post a Comment