Through every adventure and challenge presented, one is expected to exceed the limits of available energy when pleasing…and in doing so, can it be possible to become addicted to such an available willingness?
I’m not speaking of co-dependency or a fear of being alone…brown nosing or playing up to the teacher to get a better grade.
Though we could sit and point fingers all day, a constant vibration of pleasing is no longer required to wear a mask or hide within the depths of secretly given upper management delivered orders or off campus gatherings. The end result of being pleasingly pleasant is an accelerated career with a tremendous reputation built on a foundation of cooperation.
Bosses dig employees who fall over themselves to get the job done. And in doing so, more requests are put into play…often times lifting several opportunities up to your plate of accomplishments. From the outside looking in…trouble is sitting in the ancient coffee pot preparing itself to percolate all over mama’s kitchen stove.
Once you’ve settled into your new position on the company ladder, the self delivered agreement is made, “This time, I’ll be a better team player.” Never forget the Billy Joel song Only the Good Die Young.
Being bright, smiley and constantly busy is a brilliant place to be! But are you physically prepared for the flip side of the coin? It has nothing to do with your boss or fellow co-workers. During these days of costs being cut and fewer faces to pull into the ranks of Team You…the workload overwhelms you.
Without warning your desk, car, home life and quick get away to an extremely fast food burger shack looks like the county landfill. It’s like sleeping, you can’t hear a thing when you’re swimming with REM, but when you wake up, the cat six houses down keeps those eyes glued to the ceiling while the clock spits out 3, 4 and now 6 am.
The habit of saying, “Yes.”
It’s more difficult to break than alcohol or drug addiction…because you love to please people and when you let them down, you’re shoving your bright, beautiful self right back into the hole you left at the last performance. When pride becomes part of your responsibility expect repercussions.
Man there’s nothing like getting a daily dose of praise. It’s like catching an episode of church on TV and the minister looks right at you when he says, “God loves you more than you ever think!” It’s like, “Wow he said that to me!”
You’re daddy warned you about this stuff, “You can’t please everyone all the time.”
You can’t suddenly stop saying, “Yes!” A flat out refusal will suck the air right out of respect. It’s how to press back the demands that keeps the flow of the train moving in forward motion. It’s time to negotiate.
If you want to instantly put someone on the defense, just say, “No.”
Work out a reasonable plan that highlights when the project will begin and end. Give the giver every reason to continue believing in your spirit without stealing from your quality. A “yes” habit is extremely difficult to crack and requires full focus without cheating the system being delivered. Achievable negotiations create progress.
Dr. Gary Ranker speaks loudly when saying, “People don’t appreciate Mr. Nice Guy!” Bosses don’t want you to say, “Yes,” to everything because they know it’s totally unrealistic. When saying, “No,” you displease some but in the end respect for you has been enhanced in ways that symbolize your true professionalism.
1. How have you recently resisted people?
2. How did you feel?
3. Identify those who respect your efforts versus those who abuse your energy.
4. Put a face on the things you do too much of and learn how to step away before it’s too
late.
5. Don’t instantly decline…negotiate a win/win situation.
If your vow is set to invite change then remain loyal to it while understanding the hangover felt in the days and seconds that follow a less “yes” driven life and style...it must be accepted by you or you’ll find yourself plopping down in the car with no air in your lungs again and again wanting to cry the entire way home.
I consistently hear from every direction an enormous amount of, “I hate my job.” Have you ever stopped to figure out why? There’s an incredibly visible chance that it isn’t the doubter in cubical fifteen or the sports freak in number nine, the junkie in twelve or the boss man who prefers golf over decision making. Your success begins with you. Everybody else is nothing more than a puzzle piece…if it doesn’t fit you don’t toss everything back in the box, you look for the rounded corner with a 90 degree angled edge.
Steal my art….
arroecollins@clearchannel.com
No comments:
Post a Comment