How often did you and your father pull off a major stare down in the center of a family gathering, totally earning high honors as the embarrassment king by demanding you were nothing more than a know it all and he wouldn’t have any part of it?
Swallowing that granite hard chunk of ego that suddenly sprouted like wild onions and mushrooms in the front yard, you walked away thinking, “Hmm! You got me this time Darth Vader but I shall return.”
It took me nearly thirty years to discover how incredibly cool my stepfather is…but until that moment he earned the finger point…you know, the single most power entity accused of creating the two hundred twenty five foot wall and hard shell that make up who you are. Rather than chase drugs and alcohol as a teen, I locked myself up in a half built bedroom blessed with KISS posters, twenty five speakers, three guitars with barely five strings, cardboard boxes that served as drums and an imagination that physically believed it could survive on this giant marble without the aid of family and friends.
If the world is going to act like the stick figure playing father…then let me do it alone! You know what I learned from this sort of tantrum? A solo career is a lonely place to sing.
At my age you spend enormous amounts of uncounted time gluing puzzle pieces together knowing at any moment the phone could ring and the one who drove your teenage years insane isn’t going to be with you for the holidays. Rather than ponder on such negative realities, life becomes more meaningful by discovering forgiveness.
Like Hollywood seductress Angelina Jolie and father Jon Voight who’ve fronted an endeavor to invite peace to the generations that follow—their eight year publicly displayed indifference has made its way through the assumed inescapable hardships of a family at war.
No day passes that something isn’t printed in the press about America with its dysfunctional habits and the choices involved while trying to relieve a continuing stress on the ropes of everyday life. Robbery, murder, deceit and corruption add a foul taste to the turkey at Thanksgiving…
Before the age of eighteen I ran from the streets of parental involvement believing this kid’s survival wouldn’t be weighed down by something that infected the uncontrollable dreams pumping through a thick ego driven skull. Fed by rivers of girlfriend turned teenage wife peer pressure, it became easier everyday to convince myself that turning my back birthed a will to grow without judgment…only to learn, life’s best kept secrets are shared in pieces parts.
Brad Pitt is credited for mending Angelina’s broken fence. In famous situations like this I often wonder what character was used in opening closed door. Was Brad the gutsy teen Ricky Austin as portrayed in the 1988 hit Freddy’s Nightmares? Might he have been the clever J.D. in Thelma and Louise? The inquisitive and willing to learn Paul Maclean in River Runs Through it or Louis de Pointe in Interview with the Vampire?
I played the roll of human who looks like a dog with his tail between its two legs.
Umteen million pages later, I get why the Grinch who stole my Christmas ripped out the manmade radio station fully capable of broadcasting nearly a mile from the house:
It was illegal to operate. Pirate radio is no laughing matter in America.
25 speakers with chords held together by double stick tape meant an electric current could’ve easily sparked a fire.
Two of the people I hung out with dyed of drug overdoses as teens
Jumping off a two story house into freshly Rota tilled dirt might lead to broken limbs he’d have to fork out money to fix.
If you’re going to miss school on Friday you can’t go bowling on Saturday—skipping school leads to future bad decisions.
I could write and write and write about all the tiny things that seemed like an out of control parental dictatorships but as you can tell…I wasn’t playing in the major leagues of victory. The step-dude was just trying to protect what he loved.
Each day that passes we gain ground on another season of holiday gatherings…if personal battles are keeping you from reaching up to light the bulbs attached to an ancient tree begging to be recognized…set aside the multitudes of reasons why you finger point and make way of what really counts—stealing from Michael Jackson…can we please have some L.O.V.E.?
Step parents have hearts and real parents have souls...as much as you think you know, never take from them what really counts, the opportunity to lead. Before you know it, it'll be your turn and there's a big big chance you'll be pulling off the same stunt they did.
arroecollins@clearchannel.com
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