When talking about the world spinning, how many times in middle school science did the class clown interrupt the teacher with, “If gravity is based on the giant blue marble spiraling…why don’t more people get dizzy?”
According to Dr. Brian Blakley, the professor and chairman of the department of otolaryngology at the University of Manitoba in Winnipeg, dizziness is what we do nearly everyday. A mild case of the dizzies is nothing to worry about—
I get dizzy at the sound of friends saying, “Let’s go out for dinner, Arroe you’re in the back.” Even worse is thrusting the body into spin falls in Tae Kwon Do which is nothing more than pretending like you’re standing on a diving board and you flip your entire being over and land crushingly hard on your left or ride side. Getting up too fast sends the eyeballs into cartoon mode. Anything will make me dizzy and until July 21st I learned to never pay attention to it. Guess what? I was wrong!
Blakley authored the book Feeling Dizzy: Understanding and Treating Dizziness, Vertigo and Other Balance Disorders. From page one until the end, Blakley blatantly blabs out, “If your dizziness is associated with double vision, incontinence, arm and leg weakness a severe headache and or difficulty with speaking and swallowing, a Presidential Health Care Plan shouldn’t be waited for…get medical attention ASAP.
Feeling faint is a type of dizziness called postural hypotension; it’s a brief period of reduced blood pressure that occurs when you make a quick move up, down, to the side or around the other side. Blakley points out that several medications can cause faintness. Oh look…little Arroe is raising his hand while mumbling, “Me! Me!” He can’t take Tylenol without buzzing like an alarm clock and yet…coffee and power drinks do nothing to boost the energy.
One reason why the dizzy radio jock can’t seem to walk and chew gum without busting out in a case of whoa someone stop the world has nothing to do with the amount of keggers I participated with during the younger years when hoisting the arm over your head to hold onto the bed slowed things down a bit…with as loud as I play my studio earphones I’ve manmade my way into an inner ear disorder…my Chinese Crested Sami can hit a high pitch while barking and send me straight to the floor in a world of unstoppable spins.
Why the wife hasn’t sold me on Ebay or at a neighborhood garage sale is beyond me, “I know you want two bucks for that Barbie horse will you take this guy off my hands for pay? Let’s barter!”
Dr. Blakley tells the tale of the infamous inner ear and brain disorder by using fancy rich people names like paroxysmal positional vertigo—sleeping on the sofa or bed in a bad position such as lying on your hip than quickly flopping to your back or while driving the car when you suddenly shift your body because your right butt cheek went to sleep. Getting whapped on the head at any stage in life can lead to BPPV.
Ataxia is a loss of coordination that usually takes place when brain cells reach for the horizon and stay there. People with vitamin deficiencies and or spend their weekends drinking heavily are affected by Ataxia. It’s irreversible.
How many people do you know that’ve leaped onto what seems to be the hot new waxing fad…dump the junk in the ear trunk and wait, wait, pop! All that yuck in the ear canal has been flushed. Ear infections aren’t just for kids. Fluid in the ear is serious business and will cause dizziness.
But Dr. Blakley…what if I hear roars or ringing in my right ear? It’s making me dizzy to think about it! Menieres disease is also caused by fluid building up hitting most adults between thirty and fifty recurring over and over during bouts that usually last an hour or more. Some cases are mild while others land you in front of daytime television not worth DVRing. Basically meaning you've benched yourself from a day at the office.
I can’t be the only one who takes dizziness and sets it aside like a bowling trophy. Why has it become an item of less importance? Because pinpointing the cause of dizziness is like playing sink or swim—according to Dr. Blakley very few in his profession take your spins seriously and or have extremely little experience in locating the makings of the two little something’s that get your body going in a circular motion. It would be easier to locate a needle in a haystack than to find reason behind your bouts of oh my God here I go again.
Don’t take dizziness lightly! Bottle job blondes might actually be dizzy.
The American Academy of Otolaryngology can lead you to someone who’ll stop your world and listen. 703-836-4444 or www.entnet.org.
I’ve learned to deal with dizziness by always verbally asking to sit in the front seat of a friend’s car, when studying Tae Kwon Do I verbally mention to the instructor of the situation. If getting up in the morning is a free ticket to the State Fair Ferris Wheel I verbally make sure someone nearby understands that I’ve become dizzy and may require their assistance.
Outside of me constantly having a reason to talk, talk, talk…is there anything you can do to rehabilitate your senses and or locate a shred of peace? Blakley invites you to crank up the speed of your brains adaptation process by enhancing neural connections in the inner ear.
The horizontal head rotation is completely legal and won’t upset your boss if you do it at work. Sit down, face forward and turn your head to the right, then left very slowly later increasing the speed but only do it for 20 seconds. Then do it again starting on the left side.
The vertical head rotation involves the same movements but this time you’re going to move your right ear to your left knee and left ear to your right knee. It’s kind of like doing situps while sitting up. Three sessions per session, three sessions per day.
Once again, don’t take dizziness lightly. Let your family doctor know what you’re up to.
Getting back to living…steal my art.
arroecollins@clearchannel.com
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