The left side versus the right; no matter which way you turn one side or the other is going to think the opposite is a jerk. Be careful…
Time Magazine recently posted a story based on how being a jerk can physically shorten your life and we’re not talking about how Ryan Seacrest keeps fans of American Idol on the edge of their seat when jousting us into a ten minute commercial break.
Being a jerk stirs up the bodies system creating illness.
Adding fuel to an already stoked fire is another report from The Psychological Science in the Public Interest that belts out a vocal chord stating becoming a jerk usually starts in school inside the corners blessed with the best jocks and the prettiest girls. Glee club members are more likely to enjoy a longer life than those associated with reasons to constantly offer judgment.
The American Journal of Medicine feels they need to be heard by exposing how Type A people are hard drivers that face fierce competition and strict deadlines…which can lead to being called a jerk once, twice or four thousand times.
Wait! The parties not over yet! The Journal continues to explain that Type D personalities who lack confidence are more prone to being irritable leading their feet and moods swings to unheard levels of jerk-ism. Lack of proper health knowledge and reasons to seek help are key building parts in making ones self happy therefore the expression shared is down right dirty jerky.
You can be a jerk to yourself, a family member, friend, coworker or the mail delivery person that tends to waste a lot of your time because each journey toward the box leads the average wanderer to more bills they can’t afford and extremely colorful garbage bound junk mail.
We’ve all been jerks! Mood swings are protection devices that can’t be purchased at Wal-Mart. Anger isn’t the solution it’s only a symptom. Different things trigger jerk fits that can often lead to out of control rage or split decisions that affect not only your life but several innocent bystanders.
There are five different ways to help cool off the jerk in you. First…admit you aren’t perfect. If you’ve had a recent jerk moment; recall the experience and ask yourself an extremely truthful question: how could you have handled the situation better?
I once bragged of being a perfectionist; someone who’s passion for bringing things to life exceeds a normal acceptable amount. In the Artist Way from Julia Cameron she spears the beast in the heart when she writes, “Perfectionists are never happy. They end up wasting time convincing themselves that it can be done better but end up settling for second and third best.”
#2. Place yourself in the shoes of those you just went off on. Try to understand what’s been delivered by asking yourself how you would’ve reacted if you had been them. I wouldn’t want to argue with me because the dirtiest tool in my box is the power of inflection. There’s no reason to ever raise your voice when you’ve studied Casey Kasum your entire life. A lot can be said inside seven seconds that ends up hurting someone for many decades. Get control of your willingness to be a weapon of silent destruction.
3. Try a little compassion and understanding. What’s expected of you at work might be ten fold of a different department. If you’ve got people out on the street during this recession that should’ve been called a depression trying to make connections…their journey is an hourly nightmare. We’re all pioneers in the rebuilding of America so hold open the door for a fellow walker. You don’t have to fake happiness…just be happy. Eventually it will wear off on them when you’re not around nor will they ever thank you for being positive but who cares? The main point is…you weren’t the water in their jerk stream. You were the sun trying to dry up the drops.
4. Practice, practice, practice…stop whipping out quick emails and Face Book responses and read your messages over and over and get a second and third opinion before blasting your way through a door they’ve already opened. Everybody has a bad day and there are times I look up at the Heavens and think, “Dude! Come on! Even Charlie Sheen catches a break every now and then!”
5. When you feel a moment of jerk-ness coming on…do five things, anything just make it five. I do push ups, then sit ups, I’ll Google a famous artist and look at their work or hit You Tube and listen to a childhood favorite song from KISS or Stairway to Heaven, The Eagles or a complete unknown trying to pull off a good performance. Do five things…just don’t give yourself permission to be a jerk.
Nobody has the right to invade the chapters you write. Jerks are like earthquakes, hurricanes and unexpected floods on the Mississippi…they’ll never help clean up what they just created. Never take on a jerk…my way of handling a total killer of time and space is to smile while they’re going off. I’ll be the dude with the full tank energy unwilling to pull over to pick them up when their engines are out of gas. That sounds like I’m a jerk! Not really…it’s a signal that a line in the sand has been crossed and it’s up to you to decide how to handle the situation. I laugh a child's giggle because this is how I fight in Tae Kwon Do...the person across from me doesn't see fire in my eyes...I smile then toss in a laugh to loosen up their desire to knock me out. I've only been knocked out once and never want to experience it again.
The difference between sympathy and empathy? Sympathy is when you jump in the hole and hoist their tail back to happiness while they walk away without helping you back to your feet. Empathy is when you throw them a rope and tell them to figure it out. That’s not being a jerk…that’s being protective of your mind, body and soul.
I will always believe in you first…
arroecollins@clearchannel.com
No comments:
Post a Comment