They talked about it on Sunday night’s Golden Globe Awards. We’ve heard about it on the NBC Nightly News, Good Morning America, Regis and Kelly, Oprah and Ellen—famous people telling us that now is the time to begin eliminating your carbon footprint.
Outside of being horribly out of this world expensive, the thought of going green seems endless on a planet locked on constantly speaking over the heads of 99.3 percent of those who could make the impact possible.
We’ve all heard of fingerprints, footprints and things we’ve stepped in on the front lawn but as of late it’s been a top priority to shout out, “Forget picking up trash and convincing major corporations to cool off their giant smoke stacks…instead lets put focus on ending what science calls your carbon footprint.”
You will not find Carbon Footprint in Webster’s or on dictionary.com.
Punch those letters into Google, Yahoo and Bling and over 4.5 million sites are rip raring and ready to feed you full of something that might come across as cow created methane.
A carbon footprint is "the total set of GHG (greenhouse gas) emissions caused directly and indirectly by an individual, organization, event or product" (UK Carbon Trust 2008). An individual, nation, or organization's carbon footprint is measured by undertaking a GHG emissions assessment.
I’d love to find the monkey who has to speak in lawyer talk when trying to describe an object that seems to be of major importance…no wonder we aren’t buying into this. They spend millions convincing top dog Hollywood actors to preach the word then require the rest of us to seek out a conclusion.
Carbon footprinting isn’t the Super Bowl or March Madness…there’ll be winners and losers but for that to be determined the everyday average Joe and his wife Hazel need to have scorekeepers to keep them abreast of what to trust or better yet…to understand in the most simple of all languages.
Which is my legal way of saying everything I’m writing today is based 100% on assumption.
I’ve been to the Green stores who want to sell the backpacks that utilize the suns energy to power up your laptop, the hot water heaters that instantly make showers a great experience, the lights that barely torch up a room and the multitudes of ways to plant your next meal so it doesn’t have to be trucked across an uncaring nation.
Last year at this time I began to participate by introducing rain barrels that didn’t resemble trash cans sitting next to the house. I got together with a designer in Ohio to bring beauty to your backyard landscape only to learn the cost of such positive thinking for the environment was astronomically unreal and there was no way Joe and Hazel would buy into it.
Ask a coworker, brother or sister or the lazy bum of a neighbor what they think a carbon footprint is. You aren’t going to get this: A carbon footprint is "the total set of GHG (greenhouse gas) emissions caused directly and indirectly by an individual, organization, event or product" (UK Carbon Trust 2008). An individual, nation, or organization's carbon footprint is measured by undertaking a GHG emissions assessment.
Hank will continue using his gas powered lawnmower. Hilda Marie has no idea what it means to purchase an environmentally safe car and there’s no way that her twin brother Sherman Oaks is putting his tail on a bright red something that looks like a motorcycle but spits and putters like a boat out of water.
Recycling is a joke. Cities make millions off your plastic trash while those not so planet loving take their water bottles and stuff them into the can at the convenience store.
Taking note of this behavior I thought to myself, “I’ll get the martial arts school involved in a recycling project that will raise money for the homeless, the sick, the Special Olympics…we’ll create special containers that will convince gas pumper’s to dump their plastic into this nice really cool looking bin.”
Businesses said, “Nope! Not interested!”
As community minded as it came across, the location Joe and Hazel would place their unwanted bottles would serve as a free spot for looters to pull up, nab the items and make a profit on our behalf.
No wonder the idea of going green is quickly becoming nothing more than a new millennium fad…something to do other than collect Pet Rocks, Beanie Baby’s and steal music from the internet.
This wasn’t written to create a guilt trip or force feed your system into buying into the Green House Effect. I came here to ask a question that doesn’t need a straight A student or 4.0 grade average reply. For the most polluted nation on the Mother Earth to finally give up its rank as being King Messy and its Kingdom of Ho Hum…we need Bob Barker to come out of retirement and put carbon footprinting in everyday English.
Nobody cares that cell phones laid next to your ear might cause brain cancer. Texting while driving is 100% against the law and everyday we see thumbs moving faster than Jeff Gordon at Lowes Motor Speedway. We buy metal arms designed to hold flat screen TV’s on boring walls fearing every second that the entire project may fall down and go boom in the middle of the night. It doesn’t matter…we’ll buy another then another.
Until someone says, “Carbon Footprinting will lead to your Wii Game and XBox to not work properly or The Twilight Series has been canceled due to a storm of carbon footprint flooding…Joe and Hazel aren’t moving, buying or changing their way of living.
We’d all love to save the planet! I know where Montana is on a map…I just don’t know how to get there. Going green is no different.
arroecollins@clearchannel.com
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